judas

by yours truly maritesser around 9:49 AM

who are the "Judases" in your life?
is there one? are there many? is it a friend, a family members or yourself? a co-worker, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a fiance?



to have some one break bread with you...entertain you...make you feel as if you are family. but really, what are their intentions? to look you square in the eye and say, "i love you," when there is a hidden agenda...something brewing on the back burner that in the end is to burn and scold your very core. what makes it more interesting is that its they are so OK with their ill intentions that they BELIEVE that its OK...not until your hurt in the end...they realize that what they thought was OK was defiling, even to the point of death...killing the very core of your existence...all that you believed that was good in them...shattered to the point where you don't know how to piece your heart together...then its only AFTER the fact...AFTER you express your hurt, discontention and disbelief that their tune changes...they feel guilty and try to make like that wasn't their intention or you have it wrong or the get caught out there and try to weasel their way out.

a a result of that betrayal...you wish for it to just pass...to just happen...to just be over with it. you beg our Father in heaven to let this cup of bitterness pass...to pray for those who curse you and bless them as they persecute you and EVEN DEFEND THEM and say they betrayed you because of their brokenness....you even try to rationalize and justify their actions before the Lord and LOVE them regardless...

its as if you weren't their son, daughter, brother, sister, friend...its as if in that moment of betrayal...you were nothing more that a business transaction...someone that you cross paths with on occasion...an acquaintance.


what IS that? what is that! what is that.

Its ugly...its sad...and its real.

If you a are Judas in my life, I use the words of my Lord and Saviour Jesus in John 13:27, "What you are going to do, do quickly."

 

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1 Comment:

  1. ostacy said...
    March 19, 2008 at 10:47 PM  
    related or not, i was just thinking of where we were last year and how we celebrated easter. i dunno, it's interesting where we are now. =* love you. (and i mishu too!)

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