We've gone through restructuring a few times in the last 6 years and wasn't particularly phased by it until now... We had a big meeting about the changes to rapidly take place...in a nutshell will know where we are by Sept 1, 2K8. Since the announcements, I can totally understand that feelings of anxiety, fear, frustration and so much more surface...but really...DO THEY HAVE TO SNAP AT ME?
Got a chance to serve last weekend as part of the sponsoring class for Marriage Encounter 31...what a beautiful experience. It was with so much joy that I was able to serve side by side with the man the Lord created and hand picked to be my life partner and father of my children.
ugh...its funny...people think the grass is greener when you are married when in fact its just as challenging as being single...as it get more complicated when you have children. But God is good, whether single or married...He meets our needs when we let Him.
As usual, the encounters are crazy emotional...my prayer to the Lord during one quiet moment was here I am Lord, waiting on your word...what is your message to me. As I was kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament...PS 130 was ringing over and over...and so I read it...
Lord, hear my cry! May your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
If you, LORD, mark our sins, Lord, who can stand?
But with you is forgiveness and so you are revered.
I wait with longing for the LORD, my soul waits for his word.
My soul looks for the Lord more than sentinels for daybreak.
More than sentinels for daybreak,
let Israel look for the LORD, For with the LORD is kindness, with him is full redemption,
And God will redeem Israel from all their sins.
I was like wow...like yea...that's my prayer right now.
With the ME was I was emotional, reminded of my dad...and how this weekend touched my father's heart as it set a new path of healing for him and my parent's marriage and our family. To think...this was where it all started, our growth in the Lord.
I went on reading to PS 131 and 132...bot Psalms of David...My pop's name is "David"...
LORD, my heart is not proud; nor are my eyes haughty. I do not busy myself with great matters, with things too sublime for me. Rather, I have stilled my soul, hushed it like a weaned child. Like a weaned child on its mother's lap, so is my soul within me. Israel, hope in the LORD, now and forever.
This is what moved me most...
LORD, remember David and all his anxious care;
How he swore an oath to the LORD, vowed to the Mighty One of Jacob:
"I will not enter the house where I live, nor lie on the couch where I sleep;
I will give my eyes no sleep, my eyelids no rest,
Till I find a home for the LORD, a dwelling for the Mighty One of Jacob." ***My Pop's prayer at Marriage Encounter #6
"We have heard of it in Ephrathah; we have found it in the fields of Jaar.
Let us enter God's dwelling; let us worship at God's footstool."
"Arise, LORD, come to your resting place, you and your majestic ark.
Your priests will be clothed with justice; your faithful will shout for joy."
For the sake of David your servant, do not reject your anointed.
The LORD swore an oath to David, a pledge never to be broken:
"Your own offspring I will set upon your throne.
If your sons observe my covenant, the laws I shall teach them,
Their sons, in turn, shall sit forever on your throne." *** The Lord's promise to my Pop and the blessing upon we, his children =) how that brought JOY to my heart...
Yes, the LORD has chosen Zion, desired it for a dwelling:
"This is my resting place forever; here I will dwell, for I desire it. ***The Lord is telling me my Pop is in home, in HEAVEN...*twinkle in my eye and over flowing with peace...
I will bless Zion with meat; its poor I will fill with bread. ***The Lord's providence for us for choosing life with Christ...
I will clothe its priests with blessing; its faithful shall shout for joy.
There I will make a horn sprout for David's line; I will set a lamp for my anointed.
His foes I will clothe with shame, but on him my crown shall gleam."
WHAT a weekend =)
