Testing, testing 1, 2, 3...checking out blogging through my phone =) text!
Long time no write...interesting, last entry was about not being sure about work...that's still the same. NO CLUE however since the last post, they kept me, let go of my boss and a few key people that apparently were "not performing" as the company expected...I've busting my a$$ the last few months to keep my job! I have no idea what work will be like. All I know is they are striving for excellence, no room for error. Makes me wonder why am I there. The latter part of 2009, my daily prayer simply was, YOUR will Lord, not mine for every aspect of my life.
Personal life in 2009 to say the least, my DH and I have grown and then some. My children, amazing. Pure entertainment! They get me through it all...my instruments of love from the Lord.
What I've learned in 2009:
- I'm not Tess " Jesus Christ" <insert last name here>
- I've begun establishing boundaries
- I've learned to say NO and fight the guilt that's associate with saying "No I can't."
- I've begun to say out loud, I can't do it, can you do it
- Shutting down is healthy
2o09...never a dull moment. Seems to be it's spilling over into 2010. We shall see...
In 2010:
- Only RSVP for 1 event on the weekends, either Saturday or Sunday, not both
- Make a list of things to do as a family
- Talk less, listen more
- Pray and Fast weekly
- Read more
Incorporating these things into my life will help me learn more =) I just want to get better...not be the best, but improve.
So I told a white lie. I said that I wasn't worried about the present situation at my job. GUESS WHAT. I am now...
We got an email indicating my group will receive the time on Friday via email on what time our appointment is on Monday, 05/18/09 on the status of where I am within the organization. Don't know how to take it. Not sure if I'll be OK or not...
My boss' boss pulled us into her office today. She started to get emotional and expressed how happy she was to work with us, to be a part of our group. She affirmed our talents and what we were capable of as a group and as individuals. I had mixed emotions. Initially, it was as if she was in a round about way telling us she was no longer leading us, but then again, she really has no idea.
Its tough times nowadays. TOUGH. It stunk to have a "pseudo" goodbye...but really it's SO in HIS hands. There is no control over the situation.
After going through this process on numerous occasions, I thought I was numb and indifferent to it all. But wow. It hit me and it hit me HARD.
But what can I do other than let it out and pray. I know He has had something written in the heavens for ever so long. As human as I am, I still struggle with trusting and knowing the future full of hope in store for my family and I.
It would shatter me to pieces if I were no longer have to work at GSK. I grew up here...LIKE LITERALLY. Been here since I was 20. WOW...
I'm bracing myself Lord...clinging to YOU and holding fast to your promises.
REMAIN IN ME...I'm trying Lord! Hook it up Holy Spirit =)
I had no idea what our marriage would be like 6.5 years and 2 boys later. Looking back, my junior and senior prom experiences were cool. I'm just extremely grateful for being past those days of insecurity and questioning and wondering if he "loves" me and if she's "my friend."I have to admit...there are many a times that its tough. It's so easy to focus on the tough things. But wow...in the last month's activities...its been nothing but one enlightening moment after another. Never would I fathom who I am today, how I am today and who is in my life today..and I wouldn't want it any other way.
My life is like wine...it's definitely gotten better over time. What a blessing =) I can't wait to see what it's like in another 6.5 years =)
